I had another blog, but I closed it down. I have had it since 2009 and I didn't want to read what I had written on that any longer. So many broken promises, so many dreams that have been shattered. Pfft, I don't need to be reminded. I am moving forward now.
I decided to cancel my WW unlimited as I was spending over $60 a month and not even going to the meetings. That is just stupid. So I have been on a mini rampage lately - eating things I would not normally eat... But I have stopped. I stopped today. I gave myself a mental slap and I feel in contol once more.
A lot of things have happened lately - I have been feeling so low I was wondering if I had depression. To me, that is not acceptable and not an option. That has to do with my feelings toward my sister and not toward peope who have depression as a whole. I have nothing against people with depression, but I will not allow myself to get into a state like that. I have many bad memories of my sister and 'depression', and I won't get into that - as that is a big can of worms I may not be able to ever contain!
So I am not sure of my weight. I am going to weigh myself tonight. I know I was about four kilos lighter than when I started at WW recently, but I have been on my rampage since then.. So I am not sure. But - it is just a starting off point - and I shall get that number down!
I am really struggling - I am not sure whether to make this blog private or public. I had good experiences when it was public last time - but I feel kind of vunerable right now. I feel as though I may crack at any time. I will leave it as it is for now and if I feel like I need to change it, I will. I am very chatty and won't necessarily talk about weight loss all the time on here - that is why I wasn't sure about making it public.
I am feeling determind in regards to my eating though - I just hope I have enough strength to keep it up! So my first goal - No more sugar!! Cold turkey!
Until next time....
e
